I woke up at 7am naked in my bathtub with the shower running. My apartment was so full of steam that my ceiling was dripping. Who thought it would be okay for me to get my own place, anyway?
Do ugly people know they are ugly?
The quiet ones do.
How would you go about getting a hold of the country star that you slept with and are now potentially pregnant with their baby...?
myspace Music?
I want to tell you about my weekend in person so I can see your look of judgement and disgust.
My aunt totally just drunk dialed me when i was super stoned, it was so intense
Wheres my "thanks for using birth control effectively and not contributing to the downfall of society" card.
Curse you and your alcoholic milkshakes.
You're welcome.
Who was the person who brought the rooster when they won @ beer pong
Please don't place wagers on my sex life unless you are giving me a cut. With my current sluttiness I feel like I deserve 40% for how much money you'll make
My motherfucking vibrator ran out of batteries right when I was about to orgasm. It's like he's possessed everything sexual in my life and has compelled it to NOT SATISFY ME.
It has gotten to a point where I just want to sit on his face. Less butterflies, more orgasms.
There should be a Doritos delivery van or something.
Someone messaged me on POF and wished me a Happy International Women's Day. Why do I even bother anymore?
He started talking about getting a puppy together. So of course I went down on him later
woke up between a girl's legs. make your own conclusion.
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