I just poured my flask into a drink. Then I realized the drink belonged to the guy next to me so I stole it from him. He confronted me and I made out with him to distract him. When I looked up, I realized his wife was watching. Its barely 10:00.
I just want you to know that me val and amanda are drinking on top of a hill lookig at the chicago skyline drinking icehouse and we just peed in public.
so was this before or after i puked down the ice luge?
so after the bed broke we walked out of the room to a standing ovation
We got drunk before dinner. People at the other tables were praying for us.
He said he forgot to take his shoes off, and that he was a bad boy because he was walking on the carpet. Then he sang. Then he shouted "I'M STILL FORGETTING."
Dude it was a mini horse. It obviously only eats mini things.
At least in the future when we're all real people we can laugh about the time we all had scabies together?
I just found a list in your handwriting titled "Places I've Peed." The National Mall and 'under the second bridge after the bend in the road' are two of the tamer entries. I tip my hat.
she just called me the flavor packet to her ramen noodles. get me the fuck out of here.
How long can I keep it classy to hook up in my old office building? Two more years? Does it get weird after 30?
Also I found and fixed my beer gun.
The last thing I remember is singing hotel California with a hobo and asking every bald man I saw if I could touch his head.
It's 4 am here and I just vomited myself awake....Not rising OR shining any time soon
I can't get past the whole vibrator up the ass stunt.. Can we have a ceremonial burning for his dignity because I will not ever touch that again..
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