I told my rommate that he was pissing on his bed. He said "ok man" and took a step backwards and continued. He then went back to bed.
I'll show rhose boucners: You don't let me in, I poop on your pool.
just started drinking the sprite you used to ice your crotch last night. Missing you already
A guy in a sombrero stopped to take a picture with me sitting on the curb.
A monkey stole my iPod. This was not in the fucking study abroad brochure
No seriously stop! I feel bad for him. It isn't even big enough to make fun of. It's so small that it's like a disability.
He shoved his balls through an egg carton and showed us a picture. They were surprisingly egg-like.
I'm back in the dating scene now... Since the legality issue calmed down. And my stalking charges were dropped.
I was chasing disarono with Bacardi and watching ice cube movies. It would have been an epic birthday if I wasn't by myself and actually had some decent friends.. Hint. Asshole.
WHY IS THERE A FUCKING DILDO IN PLACE OF MY GEAR SHIFTER IN MY CAR?
We did hand stuff while watching teenage mutant ninja turtles so I guess you could say it's getting serious
he drove over two hours to fuck me and came in 3 minutes. he got mad when I asked him if it was worth it...
How did you interpret 'wheat thins' from 'vaginal trauma'?
On a side note. I slept with a stuffed giraffe last night. Found it in my bed when I came home and snuggled with it. Drunk me reverted to being 2
Stop trying to mix nacho cheese and sex. Guys don’t want hot cheese near their junk. Pick a better fetish
Randomize
