did you make any bad decisions?
many, i pretty much fell in love with a freshman...it doesn't get much better than that
honestly, magaritas are the void men can't fill.
I had fun last night. We should have sex less often.
They pulled him over whille he had a fish tank full of beer in his front seat. He told them it coudn't count as an open container cause the top was on it.
I'm not sure what happened last night, but my turtle seems afraid of me.
I just walked in on my sixteen year old sister soaking her tampon in vodka. I go to Berkeley. And they think she's the good daughter.
Why am I wearing a dog collar
Only way we could keep you from running in to traffic.
Okay so, sorry but last night we had to put a note on your chest and a key around your neck just so you would make it home.
Woke up this morning with a darth vader helmet and a bath robe on with my toenails shitly painted
He FaceTimed me fucking his new girlfriend. He was wearing a banana costume.
My hot gay tattoo artist grew a beard and I'm not taking it well.
You know it's really hard to draft fantasy football players in a crowded bar when I have a raging hard on
Free stuff before I even put his balls in my mouth like wow great start
I'm never celebrating Galentine's Day again. It was a whorrific mess.
Um, when I went down on you it got stuck there. Still had gum in my mouth. Didn't exactly have use of my hands to assist
Randomize
