cant go down on her man, her vagoo reminds me of a face hugger from aliens
it was a sick party until you insisted on putting on "that's how I beat shaq"
Sometimes I wonder why I hang out with you. And then you show up half naked at my door with a half gal of vodka, and I remember why.
We lived together for a year and neither of us knew we were both gay.
Are you absolutely against sleeping in your car? Because i've done that before.
I feel like a color. Like a wavy color
He got weirdly turned on by the video of my cat licking nacho cheese off my finger.
In that state of mind I managed to bounce back from getting hit by a golf cart and convince an investigations officer that I was okay to go into the game.
Dude, I'm trippin balls. For real, I thought this bag on my floor was my dog for the longest time...
We have hung out 5 times and only had sex 3 of those times. I'd call that friendship
It's almost sad. It's like the Harambe of vagina stories really.
Is it weird that the girl I'm fucking just wished me luck on my date tonight?
Can I come over and get it in, take a nap in ur bed, grab some poptarts and then leave?
You haven't lost that air of class about you...
Got so drunk I broke my sink in half. Not. Lying.
It's magical, I'm just dancing. It's like prom but by myself and with less clothes.
Randomize