He wouldn't know what to do with his penis even if they made a "how to get a blowjob for dummies" guide
I'm lit.While shaving my legs I pretended the razor was a tractor cutting down corn. Noises included.
You sucked on the drag queens heel. It got that rough.
I actually enjoy jerking off to her facebook more than I enjoy actually fucking her. Just something with our generation
I'm cool with a hey old buddy how have you been want to fuck me in the butt kind of thing
I immediately regret the tequila decision.
He's a prodigy! It would be a service to the scientific community.
15 is 15
woke up in a random sweater in a random bed in a random house on a street I don't recognize..
also, I vaguely remember swapping shirts with some random guy on the dance floor.
I just explained my sex life to the "if you give a moose a muffin" book... Is that weird?
I know. In fairness he did tell me to throw up out his window onto his roof so I don't think he's pissed at me but I'm still mortified by the whole situation.
I've had 5 hours of sleep and I still smell like sex with the Colonel. I don't appreciate spontaneity.
I guess you never know how much of an impact you have on someone until you sleep with their cousin
I got home at 1 am on a weeknight with lube in my hair. I'd say it was a successful first date.
while giving me head, she stopped, looked up at me smiling and said "ill never be able to look at bananas the same way again" and then went back to work.
somehow I wound up on the floor crying about his beard. then telling everyone I'd give him a "lesbian blowjob".
If you find out what that means, show me.
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