They are making fun of natty and blackberries.
Tell them they are ugly.
i caught the condom in my mouth.. dont ask me how
Sitting in back of morning lecture drinking a daqueri from my pink unicorn cup. Pretty sure the girl next to me smells it.
I hooked up with a 20 year old last night. I feel like a hocus pocus witch that sucked life from a child.
I just saw him carrying his little sister while walking his puppy. And he was shirtless. I swear my ovaries just exploded
gona look into getting a tetanus booster and carrying an adrenaline shot...its going off this weekend
Ok. Here's the plan. Take your hand (whichever is closest), summon all your nerve, and just stick it right down his pants.
I love you.
We couldn't find the paddle I had gotten so he just spanked with my tennis raquet
It's 11:13am and my chem prof is drinking a beer in class. I guess finals week is stressful for them too
Take your time. I'm mowing the lawn. In the dark. Drunk.
So none of you told me my tits were popping out of my shirt for three hours?
We told you. Repeatedly. You said you made it look good.
Well just saw that professor I hooked up with on campus and I look like a dumpster baby
Btw. I have a sinus infection from doing cocaine in a portapotty at a Duran Duran concert. So, gimme a couple of days before y'all start the party.
I smell Vodka. It's me. If anyone asks it's totally hand sanitizer.
when I found u, u were using a t-shirt for pants
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