It doesn't matter if they shave you or not, you're still susceptible to the staph infection.
There are now half chewed girl scout cookies plastered to my windshield. Do you know anything about this?
the night got glorious when you tried to do an upside down keg stand with a near empty key and dropped it on your face
Apparently my downstairs neighbors don't much appreciate it when I do drunk aerobics at 3am on a Wednesday...
I'd say you were a shitshow. Playing floating beer pong in the pool you kept filling other people's cups with pool water and laughing to yourself.
He told her Jesus wouldnt yell curse or degrade her. He'd just simply shake his head and slap the shit out of her
They just keep looking funny at me. No one has attempted to tell me that I don't make sense though so maybe they're all way more high than I am.
you kept saying how you wanted to mainline bacardi right into your bloodstream. medical school is doing wonderful things to your brain
ok I know you arent happy with the way we ended but paying someone to pass me an STD is TOTALLY FUCKED!!!
Can you come get me? I woke up in the woods behind the Super 8. I have pizza.
He licked the buffalo sauce off my fingers and then we had the best sex of my life.
You challenged a dog groomer that she couldn't cut human hair ... How's the shaved head
My head is bruised from having sex in the backseat of an explorer last night.
I think/hope James is drunk. He's standing in the front lawn loudly declaring "I AM a popsicle!" Over and over....
At some point i am going to say to you "i have this really bad idea! You in? " just go with it.
Randomize
