did it hurt when the cum got in your eye
not so much hurt, more like a stinging sinsation like mouthwash
he said "you're pretty" then i made out with him. thats all it took
Miss Michigan hasn't even been Miss USA for 24hrs and already stripper pole pics are surfacing. Classy.
I love waking up with his head head between my legs, it makes me feel special
I don't want to smoke with her when she's on adderall. She carved her pumpkin for four hours & didn't say a word.
She just drank the vanilla extract. Again. AGAIN. No one should be that eager to get drunk.
Congratulations on your lack of fetus.
Just specific performance'd my way into her pants. I literally said specific performance and that shit worked. Thanks B. Law!
It made me want to take you home, put you in footie pajamas and feed you spaghettios
After that time I came to the conclusion that jeeps are the best cars to have sex in
He called yelling about whhhhhhiskey and enchiladas I heard sirens in the background last time I talked to him b
Think I have the only job where I can be naked in a room with my manager at work. Apart from hookers
She started calling me daddy on the second date and I don't know how to react to that
You thought the flashing lights were strobe lights when they were loading you into the ambulance. You asked the EMT if he had any X.
I'm hiding in my office refusing to turn the light on holding puke down stealing and shoveling down the meeting snacks and regretting my poor life choices. goldfish crackers are like crack to me right now. how is your day?
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