His pubic hair was longer than his dick
Oh right she's pregnant - that's why all of her statuses have been uber depressing
My last google search last night was 'vodka swimming pool'.
Pretty sure that drunken football on the back porch with 6 guys with a champagne bottle was a bad idea....
I just discovered cum stains from two different guys on my wall. I don't know whether to be proud or horrified.
I just celebrated my ex boyfriends birthday by having more sex than he will today.
I had to explain to my dentist that my tooth was chipped because we designated my mouth as the official way to open beer. I feel like our level of partying is no longer socially acceptable.
Ugh..Yesterday was a complete alcohol fueled shit show. Not making eye contact with anyone today. Don't deserve it. Eye contact is for decent people.
God loves me. So high, craving Jimmy Johns chips, looked down, unopened bag in front of me. Still doesn't feel real
There. Isnt. A. Single. Person. Who. Is. Not. High. At. Church.
I left her alone for a few minutes and she's already using a guy on his hands and knees as a chair while another guy is serving her margaritas.
I guess the lesson here is that I shouldn't send nudes to elected officials.
I find nice boys who are in extremely long term relationships with nice girls, wait for them to break up, and sneak in for the rebound fucking.
You are like a terrifying jaguar of sex. Predatory.
Dude I just woke up naked on the floor with my dick in a boot. Legit in a fucking boot. I also have no idea where I am.
ya figured it'd be nice to explore the mythical world of sober sex i've heard so much about
i've often wondered how it works
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