I just blew up the bathroom at work and now I feel like a new woman
batman just walked across the sidewalk
lay off the drugs
no for real he was wearing a cape
I legitimately sent him a storybook of naked pictures.
You actually went to class. Im eating dry cereal naked and watching bring it on.
Dad, is it in any way illegal for me to run around throwing handfuls of lucky charms at people tomorrow?
you're kidding right?
I don't mean to ruin your favorite Disney movie...but...we both came when Mufasa died.
Now you know my pain. Live with it. Own it. Recognize it. Cause its like shitting napalm.
It tastes like you we're too lazy to shower and instead just sprayed yourself with Febreeze.
You have a very discerning palate.
To give you an idea, there's a group upstairs trying to break down a door with their fists and heads.
DISHONOR ON YOU. DISHONOR ON YO FAMILY. DISHONOR ON YO COW
Spotted: shirtless guy wearing cut-off hot shorts, 1 cowboy boot and a sombrero puking in a bush while his friend yelled 'stop being a bitch" from the sidewalk'. Happy 4th of July 'merica!
If I had a mugshot, I would totally use it as my main picture on Tinder, just to keep it interesting.
Maybe you can just make seal noises during sex and we can call it good
He painted a swimsuit on me. Naked day at the lake was a success.
I saw some guy masturbating in the Burger King parking lot and I’m just fucking done
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