Getting drunk in a different country is not a good idea. Lets just say spanish women, 17 yr olds from missouri, prostitutes, and a poodle. I don´t want to leave spain.
Me and a lesbian played "may the best man win" over a bi chick tonight... I lost, still fun though
Her husband keeps getting drunk and making out with me. Good news is I found the strep carrier. Bad news is have strep again.
My goal for break? Fuck all my exes in reverse order.
I was too sleepy and drunk to verbally annihilate anyone and ruin their reason for being. So i just opted to sleep with the fitted sheet on the floor
Using the random money I found in my bra from Halloween to pay to print my bio notes. I only brought a debit to the bar. College win.
After closing we did it on every flat surface in the bar. Best use a coaster if you're coming to happy hour today.
Just got stuck in an elevator on campus with a ton of British guys. My pants almost pulled themselves down.
I stared at him for a solid five minutes because he looked like what I imagine god would look like if god was a lumberjack
I just masturbated to the thought of him straight up talking to me. to us having a conversation. What the hell.
Would you still love me and fuck me doggie style if I had a dinosaur tramp stamp?
However, you did manage to order seven different drinks while fingering her at the packed bar - it was like watching the pizza men pound the dough in the windows
He went down on me for an hour and a half. He needs to get promoted more often.
Came home to butt plugs and dildos in the bathroom sink WTF
Spring cleaning
Someone should walk up to them and say, "We're sorry, you're too hot to be out here with the other humans."
Randomize
