The bars here don't close until 4!
my legs don't close until 4
Someone in my history class just FB messaged me saying they highly suggest I put my sunglasses on. He is sitting 18 rows in front of me...
Well, of course, to the untrained eye I look like a slut.
America approved of our night. A bald eagle flew over us at 7am
Correct me if I'm wrong here... but did we serenade each others breasts to "winds of change" last night?
four loko is officially banned. leave it to the kids from a state school to fuck it up for everyone
She was our DD the least I could do is have sex with her. Even when drunk I'm still chivalrous.
I just blurted out "it's pretty tight isn't it"
Good afternoon everyone! Just texting to inform you that Andrew, your emotionally detached man-whore, will be back starting this weekend. Please RSVP.
I'm sorry but if you can't drink a bottle of wine without a glass, I do not think we can be friends.
I got high with the cantor. Rethinking this whole non-practicing Jew thing.
STOP FUCKING TELLING PEOPLE ABOUT THAT TIME THAT GUY CAME ON MY FACE WHILE I WAS ASLEEP!!!
This makes me appreciate being single with no prospects.
I'm pretty sure I hallucinated the existence of an entire human being last night.
This chick just walked out of the men's room with molly all over her nose and her shirt half unbuttoned. She nodded to all of us and said "gentlemen" as she exited
Randomize
