That's what you get for not wearing a bra and jumping on a trampoline
ive been sending my husband naked pics of my whole body from my phone..its a work phone. do you think our boss can see? if so, im either getting fired, or a raise.
Should I have kids to fix a relationship??
i have absolutely no control over my now miserable and whore-ish lifestyle.
Why do you apologize after every time we have sex?
dont get mad but guess who just got banned for life from dodger stadium
I found her under my bed eating airplane pretzels.
if i'm ever face-down on the ground puking again, promise me you won't try to braid my hair?
My pupils are so HUGE you can see into my soul from 2 miles away
He left his phone. Turns out he;s been sexting with some girls who can't spell. Time to break out the herpes scare.
You were crying in a drunken stupor for an hour because "the new daft punk album didn't blow your tits off"
You know it was a weird night when you find curly fries in your purse the next morning...
Man I was just the closest I've ever been to crapping my pants.
i'm so glad to be in bed i'd like to thank the acadermy
What the hell kind of sad excuse for a bottom are you
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