do you think they make "congratulations unfit mother" greeting cards?
or abortion recommendation cards.
Just heard "Kiss Me Though the Phone" for the first time. Amazed how it took Soulja Boy two songs to become a shitter version of Ja Rule.
I managed to throw up 90 feet under water, just removed my breathing tube, puked, put it back in. All inclusive is the way to go.
I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.
you were smoking 3 cigarettes at once saying 'cancer isn't real! Its all in your head!'
He's so gross, but the preschooler inside me is screaming that this is her life dream and I have to be with him or she'll never forgive me.
No, I think it was the night I threw up in her front yard. You're thinking of the time I threw up in her backyard.
We just filmed our own version of iron chef. The secret ingreient was whisky.
What did you cook with whisky?
We started a fire.
Not only is it unacceptable to be bar hopping alone at 5 o'clock. It is definitely unacceptable to do so with a lobster
And on the seventh day, God carefully sculpted your cock to fit perfectly into my masterpiece of a vagina. Then he rested. Look it up.
Please tell me there isn't another video of me on the toilet...
he gave me a thermos so I could take my coffee with my on drive of shame. I was unexpectedly grateful...
We are buying drugs from a guy with a Jesus fish on his dodge caravan.
The magician guy on probation is here at the bar. I'm gonna get him to show me a trick
you need to drop off my dinner before you go see him because i'm not gonna wait until you're finished fucking him to get my damn chinese food
Randomize
