you were crying and the really sympathetic homeless man offered you a sip of his whiskey. who was i to stop you?
Is it a bad thing that the only time i wear nice clothes to class, is when i get too fucked up the night before and wear the same clothes i went out in?
This girl is drinking wine and watching grey's anatomy in the library during finals week. I hate comm majors.
Too many people are naked here for this to be normal.
you have no idea how wierd it is to get nudes while talking to grandma
My mom called me and we started arguing as usual. I finally screamed at her "I HEAR YOU AND THAT 30 YEAR OLD FUCKING!" and hung up. She hasn't called back yet. I win.
On the plus side I got to ride in a fire truck and I didn't have to blow anybody for it
I went to grab his drink and my hand grazed his dick. It was magical.
I should probably go to bed before I start to care about why I started drinking in the first place.
Your girlfriend is in jail- I've just never been able to use that in a sentence before. Thank you both!
I would say I'm the man in the relationship but I'm cuddled on the couch eating cake mix and water.
i found waldo and immediately set him to work eating me out. please have more out of season costume parties.
You woke up butt naked, peed yourself said something about jumbo shrimp, and passed back out 10 seconds ltr..
I need an office. I have big plans. I'm learning spanish this month.
Yeah bc that's when u should take a Molly. At a house party with everyone from ur hometown
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