better yet, through the bookshelves. like an intellectual glory hole
I was thinking about baking his mom "sorry you found out i was sleeping with your son" cupcakes
My main thought on the Olympics: I need LESS cowbell.
And if not, hey- I've never had a restraining order before, so that will be cool
It could be our claim to fame
Done. I'll pack a cooler.
On an unrelated note: I'm also a big advocate of the "never waste a boner" theory.
2011 senior yearbook drinking game. we're taking a shot whenever some dumbass uses that quote about how life isn't isn't about the breaths you take, but the moments that take your breath away. also that retarded wayne gretzky one about missing shots you don't take.
I've never felt so epic in my entire life as I do right now, my bare testicles staring down the ocean itself
You're on Grindr at the STD clinic. I love you.
I seriously just caught my Pina colada from falling of a table perfectly facing up. I will now reward myself by finishing this one and then getting my 8th
Yo, I can't just ask my mom where she relocated my vibrator to, can I?
I need all the beers. I want to be holding on to the grass so I don't fall off the earth drunk.
he told me that he only likes small dogs. I should have known he was going to end up being little bitch.
You told me you were trying to learn all the MLB ballparks while you waited for your porn to load.
So I met one of her cousins last night. She recognized me as "the guy that's always in the liquor store", I may have a problem.
So, I just found out Ireland, is #1 in binge drinking. I know its Sunday but this one is for America.
Randomize