help me. he won't leave me alone. he just licked my ear and he's so drunk. get him off me. we're in the closet. help.
Just saw some girl biking on campus with a babyseat on the front. Baby included. Do you know how many points that'd be worth?
If it makes you feel better, I doubt anything could survive in your uterus.
I had to close one eye to read the questions on my final this morning. That hungover.
I HAVE A BLACK EYE FROM A DILDO!! IM GETTING MARRIED TOMORROW! THIS IS NOT A MISSUNDERSTANDING!
Drank a beer through my butt, how's your initiation going?
You know its going to be a good day when you have to brush your teeth out of a cup in your room using the vodka and water mixture in your fridge because you're locked out of your restroom
How about we just fuck in random places all around campus, and skip the boring relationship part?
We got high and watched Winnie the Pooh. Isn't that what every normal person does on their break?
Just read the 12 signs you're a horrible roommate post and fucking in your roommate's bed wasn't on the list, so I'm a pretty awesome roommate.
It would be magical, all 2 min of it.
Rough birthday weekend. Eating McDonalds in the shower and used a fifth of sky as a pillow last night
I'm seriously scared right now. Woke up next to 3 geese and a lot of feathers ..
I see more hoeing in ur future
when I said eat the rich I didn't mean like that but here we are sucking that capitalist dick
Randomize
