hey. who tried to drive me home last night?
not sure. we got lost. what do you mean "tried"?
i'm still in their car. parked on the beach. no one else is here. i have on different pants.
Seriously, it was like sucking my thumb.. and im not even saying that to be spiteful b/c he is a really nice guy.
I dont know why people are racist. Both the mexicans and the irish gave us holidays where everyone drinks on a wednesday.
Seriously he's so hot. And it's so hard to flirt with a deaf guy
Drunk. The frashmen love me. Give them. Toilrt paper. And shiots
Tell me right now I did the right thing by not fucking my sick gf at 3 am with her family home... Tell me my balls hurt for noble reasons.
we went 3 years between hookups and she got a lot better. Amanda's moving way up the booty call pecking order.
Forgot my sound was off and didnt even realize it until halfway through because I thought I could hear it. I think high me just narrated half a clip of adventure time
he wears New Balance sneakers on a regular basis, did you really expect the sex to be more than decent?
In other news I may have fractured my masturbating arm
At least it wasn't your drinking arm
He said he doesnt believe in the female orgasm,so no I did not have sex with him.
SINCE WHEN WAS USING A FROZEN WATER BOTTLE ATTACHED TO A ROPE AS A THROWING WEAPON A GOOD IDEA??
Ur betting me $100 that I can't do ur sister?
No, it's okay that he's on a date. I attach no more emotion to him than I do my vibrator.
What conversation warrents "penis" in rainbow comic sans
Randomize
