Are you dead
Yes
Oh man
Someone fed me too many chicken nuggets and sexed me too hard
She said if it slipped out one more time she was going to duct tape it in her vagina
it was like eating out sand paper
the last thing i remember was trying to convince him to call over his girlfriend so we could have a threesome
judging by the mobile uploads you added of me last night, we cant keep living this way.
Also, the zoloft kicked in and I can't get an erection anymore. So I'm depressed.
Dude the animal human society told us we could get a dog when we came back sober. I cant wait.
They don't allow McDonald's in the ER. Go figure
Going to the beach. Greeting Sandy with a blunt. Wish us luck!
Well, my eyeball is red and the rest of my eye is black. Oh the joys of drinking with u. PS- I laid in a pile of sawdust. it was ok at the time.
Oh were you the stripper at that club last Sunday when i was trippin on acid wearing a giraffe outfit?
I decided not to look up the nudes, because I believe that there is a line, and that mocking my old classmate's horrid nudes alone crosses that line.
Thinking about licking your asshole. And hugs and stuff too I guess.
It's Valentine's Day, I figure for sure we'll have sex today, right? Wrong. I tried unsuccessfully for like an hour to get him to fuck me. Now he's asleep and I'm on my way to join the public library.
The people at Perkins seem so judgemental. Big deal if i'm handcuffed to stripper in a star-n-stripes bikini. We still gotta eat.
Randomize
