I molested 6 butterflies tonight
Where's the Hot Mess Express headed tonight?
I hope that's not the new nickname for my friends and me.
Just watched a UNI fan at the bar lick the tears off of a KU fans face.. See what march madness does to people
just explained the breakup in detail to my big toes. that consolation brownie was Amazing.
The only reason anyone found out he threw up is because everyone heard it sizzle the bonfire out.
Dude just read our convo. Apparently I was talking to you while I was naked. She wasn't happy about it.
My ex was here I looked him in the eyes when I grabbed some other guy by his belt and dragged him to a room
I think my cats understand what porn is. And it's all my fault.
come onnn, where's your sense of adventure?!
I left it in that guy's dorm room.
Pretty sure I just puked up sand. And nothing else.
I think I might be harboring a Canadian in my womb.
Are you coming down for 4/20 or does Easter kinda fuck that up for you?
I'm so sorry to hear about your grandmother. Also how many grams are in an eighth?
I'll be wearing lingerie and holding a bottle of bourbon so pick up whatever food you think goes with that
& I came downstairs to find my whole family discussing the fact that I have a vibrator, which my mom found accidentally....
Randomize
