i threw up in over 4 different places last night. it was like a world tour
Good. You are like the clit whisperer.
Yep Great. Apparently I didn't just say things once that night. Drink. Yell. Repeat.
U also mentioned u werent wearing any underwear hahahaha
I just had my first uncircumcised penis. I kept staring at it like the foreskin was going to fall off on its own.
All I wanted to tell you is that I fucked a guy covered in fake blood, who circumcised himself.
this is hardly the first time i've been told i'm dressed "too suggestively" for 7 in the morning.
Nothing kills the mood when I am hooking up on the dance floor like the DJ saying Happy Valentines.
thanks. im glad you find me better in your comparison between me and fat girl porn.
I think "I actually like giving blow jobs better" qualifies her as a keeper
dude, i turned on the light and asked if they were ok and they STILL didn't stop. Most determined sex EVER.
Just orgasmed in canada. I should get a sticker or something that says I orgasmed in a different country.
mind if i send you a dick pic? so you can see what she wasn't doing right?
My roommates don't agree with the whole tv in the bathroom idea. Fucking barbarians.
dude pick up your phone
i cant. im high and theres a wild turkey in my backyard. wouldnt miss this moment for anything
Got everyone out of my house, somehow managed to put all my lawn furniture back, puked in my sink, and cleaned it up all while black out drunk before my parents came home. Successful night.
Randomize
