i permit you to call me
but it happened after you broke up with me and before we made up.
she gave up head for lent, but she said sex was still fair game
You better drive. If I decide to let them talk me into a 3-way, I don't want you to be stranded.
it was a 10 min screaming orgasm. i don't care that you were next door and didn't appreciate all the noise.
I've got to stop making out with the guys and sharing drinks with you. I'm the reason we all get sick at the same time. Sorry.
Do you think i can prewrite an apology on friday and leave it vague enough to just finish on sunday?
It's like I'm snorkeling in an ocean of tequila.
If I had a dollar for every time i woke up screaming for my pants i"d have enough money to buy all the beer I stole last night.
Remember those girls from the bar? The tall and short blondes?
Is this a story I am going to hate you for?
I feel like if tampons weren't meant to be microwaved, they'd have a warning on the box, so we should be okay...
I have an erection and I'm about to go through airport security.
I'm watching porn in spanish. Thats studying right?
Dude someone puked in a bowl n put it in the fridge. I thought it was salsa! Who does that?
The best part of last night is not remembering half of it
Randomize
