I dont get it-she has sex with me but wont be my facebook friend?
he kind of looks like leonardo dicaprio...in whats eating gilbert grape
wtf, did you fuck a retard?!
lady crackhead wearing pjs and a santa hat brushed the snow off my car at 7am saying "free of charge" the whole time
i wanna have a kid now so by the time he's 20 ill only be 42 and assuming im already divorced we can pick up girls together
You spend 45 minutes trying to convince that pregnant girl you were with all night to have sex with you cause 'the worst had already happened.'
I got stoned in my snow covered car and pretended I was burried alive
I feel like the only way to get him to stop is by telling him i'm tired from fucking our other friend every night this week
He was an asshole the entire night and then tried to touch my dick in a Michaels craft store.
Sooooo, no second date?
You would think by the size of the lump on my ass that I would have remembered falling down a flight of stairs.
I definitely fucked a Trump supporter last night but I wouldn't let him fully admit it because then I would've had to leave and his cock and abs were too perfect
I am luring the porn star to my house with chicken!
have fuck
*fun
actually forget it have a fuck too it'll do you good
you face planting the wall was epic
did you at least save my tooth
She's nice. But even when I am with her I am thinking of her mom, literally the hottest woman on earth.
What is the best medium with which to say, "Happy Birthday, I'm having your abortion"... Cake? Card?
Randomize
