and thats when i went through the window and a shard of glass got stuck in my ass. the doctor said it was the best injury hed seen all month. i am a champion of life.
her vagina looked like bernie madoff
I was literally just a half conscious dildo.
She is two pictures of justin bieber away from being blocked from my news feed
friends don't put videos of other friends on youtube puking on their professor on the first day
SOS. HE HAS PASSED OUT AND IS LYING ON TOP OF ME. HE IS STILL INSIDE. HELP
You can't text people with drinkers' regret at 8 in the morning. It's just bad form.
Sorry, I was trapped in a small closet behind a washer. What's up?
she basically told me that her vine videos last longer that I do
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
We got high and watched Winnie the Pooh. Isn't that what every normal person does on their break?
Mashed potatoes are always the fuckin answer ok.
Let it be known that on this day, the 26th of October, in the year 2016, I successfully put both of his balls in my mouth at once.
Got arrested last night. My cell mate just added me on Facebook.
Help I accidentally unlocked this guy's tragic backstory and I need a rewind button!
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