why do married chicks ALWAYS cry after?
it was like eating out sand paper
he was actually really polite. he asked before he came on my chest because he "wasn't sure my stance on it".
Jus posted an album so big that it takes my manhood into question
my wrists were so small for the handcuffs, i could slip them off and hand the tow truck driver my keys....
it's a gatorade, cheez its, and regret kind of morning....
I mean, I'm not looking for prince charming. I'm looking for the glass slipper of dicks.
Hey, I didn't ask that stripper to put her unds in my mouth, it was just covered by the plus package fee I ordered.
because i know somewhere at some party, behind someones closed bed room door youre being feed a key full of mollie.
Just so you know the unusual amount of skittles on your floor is entirely your own fault. You bought me 20 bags of them while I was high.
Some small part of me hopes I'm on the probationary list because of seeing the Dean at that fetish party.
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST
I've never been to an orgy, but I would assume nachos wouldn't be out of the question at one.
Santa tracker drinking game, you in or what?
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
Randomize