Wow that girl who lives a couple houses down is going out wearing butterfly wings a skirt and fishnets
You know, if there were no such thing as marriage, i don't think porn would exist.
As we walked into his room, he said welcome to the hurt locker. I should have left, but I love that movie.
Just want you to know I am def drunk enough to burn down your house. Don't worry I checked the stove like 6 times. I love grilled cheese
Yeah, it kinda sucks. But it was fun while it lasted. And honestly, his penis is way too big for my life.
While I faked being asleep, he literally prayed to God out loud, asking for forgiveness for losing his virginity before marriage.
Im still alive. Just can't talk. Or move. No need to worry
I was informed that last night we held hands while puking on the curb outside the bar.
We just have a real special relationship.
When he pulled it out last night I asked if that was as hard as it was going to get. I think I may have offended him.
It all started because he put my damn phone in his pants. By his crotch nonetheless.
I woke up with a bagel in my mouth, still ate it. Free breakfast
...I just added shower water to my vodka on ice\n#sendhelp
So I think my neighbor's name is Olli if I'm hearing the girl the girl he's fucking clearly
I know her cup size but not her name....
I put him in the supply closet, used the copy paper to build a fort around him and his wheelchair, then he fucked me in the fort.
Randomize
