Bts the comment you were making during that picture was "look we have penises"
They made my facebook status "I got my period!!!." Every guy I've had sex with at college liked it.
I am way too high for this. Some guy just keeps talking about music and life goals and he apparently has lived in every city we mention we are going
that beer fried lasagna last night was sooo good
that wasnt beer fried lasagna, you just poured beer on my lasagna
DRUNK CANOEING
Please text me if you survive.
LAND HO BITCH
she bonged a coffee cause she was hungover. then she bonged a beer cause she got ambitious. then she barfed. then she had to start over again.
you crashed our wine night double date and sat on the floor eating cheese talking about how big his dick is.
Its people like u that make people like me go to rehab. He has a lazy eye for christ sakes.
Due to your tardiness, I'm saving you my tab
Pounded a bottle of Moscato in my underwear while watching Pretty Little Liars...am I really gonna be 30 next year?
He said we would have a beautiful daughter together. That way too much for a one night stand...
she asked me to come back to her house where "hopefully her kids were asleep". that my friend is what i call a dealbreaker
Just cropdusted a little kid that wouldn't get out of my way in Kroger. Welcome to the real world bitch.
I just feel like if we dated, he'd just be crying the entire relationship
The creeper at the bar just realized we have the same birthday and bought me four beers already. He walked off so I took his change and dashed, i'm bringing the case over now.
Randomize