Just incase you were wondering, the count of ladies who have perioded on chairs at our fine restaurant is now at 3.
it was like getting a handjob from mrs. butterworth
Just saw a denim jacket with the phrase christian cowboy...ridin with the lord under a picture of a cowboy in a sunset. I'm def in mississippi.
counting down the days left of school on my birth control packet.
Once again there IS no outside bathroom. Never has been, that is the balcony
Apparently the cops have a video of me singing bob seger "Night moves".
Also, no joke, I think that raccoon hair is still in my eye from last night.
I remeber being on the roof last night and we put our heads togeather and we touched each others face and said "Hennessyyyy"
He said I looked like a ballsack and I tried to choke him out with my Ghostbusters pajama pants. Happy fucking Halloween.
I'm sorry I was just sleeping on the kitchen floor I'm too dead to think
When the stripper from this weekend is your cashier at Publix the next day 😐💀#pensacolaproblems
Well, I got drunk and told my family about what I expected sexually after a good first date.
Haha. I found pics last week of me getting motorboated by a girl while i was taking a shot. Hahaha in my wedding dress. Classy
Fucking hate kids. In particular I hate our kids.
I have only been here for a week and might contributed to a dumpster fire on accident.
Randomize
