Okay you're seriously so fucking annoying its like having a baby
he sat in the bathtub shirtless yelling in gibberish for 40 minutes. funniest. stoner. ever.
He just became a fan of Chelsea Handler on Facebook. WHY DO I ALWAYS PICK THE GAY ONE
I don't know what's worse, the fact that my parents own a sex swing or the fact that my little cousin was playing on it
I just got a high school volleyball teams practice cancelled because I slept with the head coach through their practice time.
i just remember doing it on a pile of clothes while i heard the muffled sound of his friend laughing. then i realized we were in a closet.
So topless strobe light beer pong turned into me rugby tackling a bitch to the ground.my tits will never forgive me for sacrificing their majesticness for responsibility
I was too drunk to remember throwing up so i probably didn't learn my lesson
He came over in a blaze orange vest with a case of beer and a shotgun yelling about "Dove Season" then passed out in the lawn. There he lies
I don't even remember what he looks like. All I know is he's 6 foot 100. I like that.
My parents heard us going at it in their tent. I told my mom it must have been a bear looking for food. I don't think she bought it. She deliberately chose this park because bears haven't been sighted here in years.
I am going to go Miley Cyrus crazy if I don't get sex soon
Headline in the alligator: young zeta goes berserk after lack of sex and is found naked swinging from wrecking ball on university ave, refuses to get down until sex partner is found
Only you would get a side of potential vagina with your sandwich
not that i'm not about exploiting men for money
I fucked his roommate. And that roommate's best friend. And my roommate. And my roommate's old roommate.
i'm bowing down, but slow your roll.
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