Just woke up naked in my storage cubby and some one rearragned my whole room?
no jk, not my room
i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
details?
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
Her friend drew me a diagram of how we could get away with her giving me a blowjob at work.
He told me I just kept sending him the word sex and dollar signs.
so far we have 6 big wheels and 10 boxes of wine for the tour de franzia. team drunkslut is favored to win the yellow jersey.
We simultaneously blacked out then simultaneously came to then simultaneously had sex with the neighbors. We're definitely meant to be roommates.
Its hard to hear the music in here over his nasal whistle. And his breath smells like old milk. I think I need more vodka, and he better be buying. You owe me.
Btw...I puked in my hand last night and threw it on the floor. Don't let me do tequila ever again.
Just pull your dick out and wink at her, its a game changing play
He bought my favorite ceral.. I've guess I've earn the status as one of his regular fuck buddies. I feel honored and proud. His roommates girls don't get this treatment.
I just threw out a whole Christmas ham, 12 positive pregnancy tests, 3 empty vodka bottles and by ex boyfriends Latina porn collection in the same garbage bag. The homeless person who goes through the bins tonight knows I have nothing left to loose.
Almost bit the guy's hand who sits in front of me because he was stretching. That. Bored.
I just woke up under my desk. Not to worry though, no one is in the office yet
Woke up to a sex noise notice under my door...he gets a A+ for proformance and ill be seeing him again.
I am dancing alone in my bathroom because I was paranoid the neighbors were watching through the windows
Randomize
