Yo I charged a $20 breakfast to ur room, will pay u back in liquor and schoolgirl panties, thx again for a fun time
We each get one free throw up cleaning, no questions asked.
And he showed us your test. You wrote what is this shit and scribbled on it? Nice 3%..
I just watched a video of Justin Bieber kissing a girl..... the sad thing is that I actually got upset.
how opposed are you to picking me up at the bar at 11:00am?
I hid my booze in my old Sesame Street lunch box. Big Bird might be disappointed, but I feel Oscar the Grouch would approve.
he locked me out then poked me with a fork when i tried to get in through the window
Why do they give me cups on $8 pitcher night? I HAVE A PITCHER.
My vagina supports interfraternal relations
I didn't know where we were going to start fucking, so I just strategically hid condoms all over the house before he came over.
Happy anniversary, did you sign and mail in the divorce papers yet?
She's high and screaming MEREDITH IS A WHORE
Is it bad when I wake up sore & don't know if my injuries are from sex or the mechanical bull at the bar?
Dude, I wish I could live my entire life blacked out.
Is it ok that I asked him half way through sex why he hadn't accepted my friend request yet?
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