Contrary to popular belief, while 19 is an attractive age, it does not equate to sexual prowess.
she took her clothes off and my dick went from =====> to =>
Wow, Pearl Harbor and The Notebook are on. Its like the Im going to kill myself marathon.
Dude we got so high last night. I said "watch this" threw a goldfish cracker in the toilet, and laughed my ass off. We watched the dvd menu for 30 minutes too.
Everytime I think about NYE, my gag reflex kicks in.
She said she was an education major and you replied with "oh I'm taking a semester off too". And we never saw her again...
There's not an emojicons for I think I ripped my asshole and want to die.
Nothing like pulling a bottle of vodka out of your purse at 7am in the security line to make your fellow passengers uncomfortable...
Like, you've got the smoothest dick in the west. Do you moisturize?
Yes I do
I am the murdurer of this scooby doo episode
You texted me the words "butt stuff" 53 times in a four hour period last night.
We played a 4 hour game of True American then we fucked on the floor for a couple hours Happy 20th to me
I think I've had more sex in your bed than you have and I've only been here three days
i found you passed out on the floor with a half-eaten pie. i figured youd be the last person to care if i went and banged your sister
Can I use your boat
Also, what’s the deal with international water? Do they have signs out there like a city does or do I need a map?
WTH is going on? It’s the middle of the night
Randomize
