Apparently mediocre decisions were made last night. I woke up alone in my own bed with my fridge defrosted.
And I didn't go to bed alone. I am buckets of fail.
I told him to show me what he was made of and he came on my face. law students are so technical.
He doesn't know I'm infertile yet, that's when the sex gets good
couldnt find a condom. used a surgical glove instead. actually worked and the sex was great. thanks nursing school
so, I mean this in the straightest way possible, but don't you ever just feel like you owe Jon Stewart a blowjob...
Totally forgot this... How weird was it when they were licking our faces
He came into the hospital yelling "HEY EVERYBODY! REMEMBER ME?"
thank you TLC waking up to a water birth on tv really put the cherry on top of my hangover...
Dude, had to, it's Canada Day, I fucked her for Canada. Seriously, I put my Canadian flag on my bed and fucked her on it.
Jameson and I invented street rugby last night. Yeah
Doors open. I'm laying in bed watching caddy shack and drinking a vodka tonic.
And I'm out of vodka so bring vodka or 2013 will blow ass
Why is my vagina being sacrificed for yours? I'm sure he would take a piece of you too. Your turn.
Is it weird to wish your favorite hooker "happy thanksgiving"?
He put his burrito in the bag with his dildo.
He tried to eat me out...through my pants.
Randomize
