If he can handle my muffin top then I can handle his front teeth.
Haha so you are never gonna want to meet my mom now...she just found your thong in her front seat
So I was gonna stay in tonight but the president got me motivated! I will not quit. Bars here I come.
season finale of lost and an oz of weed. tonight my mind is going to be blown.
There was a canoe full of alcohol. It was literally a boat load of fun
Just realized I have to keep sleeping with him... those scars from drunk sex on the 4th of July are still on my back and lord knows I'm not about to explain that to another guy.
My meds have diminished my sex drive, this must be what regular women feel like
I have no idea. There are 6 asians singing hey soul sister to me right now.
I will also take that commission in the form of weed. Pass that on to the asst. manager.
I can HEAR him staring at your boobs.
The dorm having an ice machine is their way of inviting us to make mixed drinks.
The whole bar erupted and in happiness and confusion as I went on about pancakes.
You wouldn't believe how many pro-life stickers, and "show us your tits" signs there are between here and Dallas.
Hey, how are you?
No. You're dead to me, you hamster stealing slutbag.
drunk boyfriend and drunk me are NOT meant for each other
Randomize
