you can't spend the night you always smell like dirty underwear and my roommates complain
Gayer than 8 guys blowing 9 guys
wow, that really makes you stop and think.
video games are the ultimate cock blocker
I kind of feel like guidos are mythical creatures.
did u really fuck my little sister???
im not saying yes or no but just know that my answer rhymes with "mess"
The waitress bought us a round. She said if anyone could do 52 margarita mondays in a row, it was us.
Being home sucks. I haven't drank in like a week. Or smoked cigs. Or done drugs. Or had sex. My body is shutting down.
Omg. It's like you're one of those deprived kids living in a third world country. We need to save you.
I got us chalkboard mugs. Now whoever comes home with us can feel comfortable in the morning! I am too considerate to my one-night stands...
You shouldn't do laundry high cus pink.
One day this summer I just wanna get blown under the hot sun all day.
Deal. Roof-top 69 on Saturday, July 20th. I've got it in my calendar.
Just specific performance'd my way into her pants. I literally said specific performance and that shit worked. Thanks B. Law!
I have the starring role in a literal shit show.
For not really liking Christmas, I have an astounding amount of holiday-themed lingerie
AND I woke up to eggs in my bra. Thanks Taco Cabana...
my morning attempts to try to have sex with him was interrupted by the passion of the christ parade going on outside my house
Randomize
