We had to be out of the dorms at 730. Meeting started at 8. I woke up at 948. Drunk and covered in glitter.
Its not small because its small, Its small because it was cold outside
Yes. Being a lesbian's wingman is a fun as it sounds
I voted for him because his wife supports his raging sex life.
i dont trust my judgment anymore so im only going to fuck guys who can donate blood at the red cross. they have standards.
He's cute when he's drunk, too. Also he tried to fight my door...
we broke up because he couldn't handle the fact that i've slept with more girls than he has. also, i've slept with the girl he's seeing now.
I don't care how sexy you think I look in my scrubs. Wanting a blow job is not a medical emergency.
i went to the 24h massage place last night and brought down the price for a hand job from $50 to $12.75 and half the big mac left in my bag.
6 more days and it'll be a year since i slept with him and never went home
Since when is my clitoris pierced?
i've hit rock bottom. Eating pringles and playing taylor swift on guitar in my underwear at 11am on a wedensday morning. Sober.
Newest quarantine problem - I’ve watched all of the porn. Like everything on the the internet, all the DVDs, mags, VR, leisure suit Larry all of it and I’m still horny af
He’s basically a sexual superhero. A mild mannered marketing intern by day, but a very horny 22 year old with pornstar stamina at nights!
i can feel my liver failing just LOOKING at that thing
Randomize
