Haha she couldn't find her dress in the morning. So she left it. How do the hell do I discreetly return that to her at work. More importantly, how did she discreetly do the walk of shame??
You know you love balls. Don't act all "I-Don't-Love-Balls-ish"
I had a talk with my mom about respecting myself and not acting like a whore so she will rip my nose ring out if she somehow sees that picture
I love how all the girls on the plan b commercial wake up alone.. Like me
apparently drunk me likes to play hide the puke.. was not a fun time washing all my legos.
Its what jesus would do if there were bud light in his time. I feel obligated.
do you guys have 30-35 shot glasses? because if not, i don't even see a point in me coming
In Berlin they just cured HIV with stem cells. I am hereby fucking anything that moves.
They gave me patron and potatoes I couldn't say no
I dapped up a cop while leaving the party
I just text my one night stand Happy Easter on her way home...now would be a good time for the lord to smite me.
I just want to eat Taco Bell and throw it up on his doorstep.
I know this is a weird question but we both had pants on when my mom woke us up last night right?
I'm pretty sure I lit a prostitute's cigarette while sharing a pizza with a homeless guy last night
He had a hook in his ceiling. I think I'm in love!
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