haha it's okay then, bc he only killed a canadian, they're not real people
She has some nice fakeys. She is also an exotic entrepreneur.
I'll be waiting for you under the stairs with peanut butter and tequila ... Don't tell the neighbors
yeah that pretty much nipped itself in the bud when I realized i could see her whiteheads glowing in the blacklight
So, halfway through sex he stops and starts crying. He said he's worried god hates him for all his bad decisions...think he meant to imply I was one of them...
Hookers taste better with whip cream
Maybe we ought to get some pennicillin too
Fair enough
I think you're asking the wrong person. You don't understand. Like I would fuck the act of fucking itself if I could.
I would have been the big man on campus...just flop my wang out on the table and how them what they were gonna deal with if they dropped the soap
Yo I get this girl alone in my room last night but she bounces cus she thought the full house poster was "weird"
My roommates don't agree with the whole tv in the bathroom idea. Fucking barbarians.
I feel sorry for the person who's phone number is 704-1776 cause from now on I'm giving that number to every guy I never wanna talk to again. Happy Independence Day
I still don't understand if he's using me to write his resume or if we're dating
Help me help you realize you are a moron
If you wake up, and some of your hair is singed off, it probably has something to do with the lit cigarette you put in your hair. You said it could double as a bobby pin...?
she was all excited about us being eskimo sisters and then i was just like "alyssa i've literally been inside of you" and she got even more excited
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