Oh. My. God. Best non-relationship, he-might-be-cheating-on-his-boyfriend-but-I-can't-tell-because-of-the-language-barrier sex EVER!
Today should be called shooting fish in a barrel day. Every place ive gone to ive met a girl who regrets not hooking up last night. There have not been girls this easy since Fathers Day
How are you going to be there by 9am?
Relax I always go to these conferences hung over
You say that like it's a positive quality
new hobby: convincing random sorority girls around campus that we hooked up last weekend. i'm 2 for 5.
We can't have sex anymore. The amount of money I've spent on meds and copays for UTIs is getting ridiculous
there was naked duck duck goose
how does that even get suggested?!
after naked leap frog.... it wasn't that big of a deal
love being home for thanksgiving just had grandma pick me up from the frat by her house
I'm ultimately at thr Shariton to drink and ppssibly puke on fancy shit. Thats my story and Im sticking to it.
wanna tell me why theres a glass of water stuffed with tamptons in the freezer?
Just a heads up before you get home. Took the shelves out of the fridge so i could fit the beer ball and bucket of riot punch. Apparently i decided the stove was the best place to keep them. They got cooked when we pre heated to cook a bird we shot. This may be the final straw for our security deposit
So the guy who is making our IDs is in jail now for attempted murder, with no bail...
So no fakes?
tell me why they applauded then the bartender locked himself in the bathroom when i walked into the bar today ????
Yep. I'm going to buy a sex toy and a LARP prop on the same trip. Welcome to my life.
what better to celebrate not being pregnant than to eat a bowl full of rum soaked pineapples?
If I could go one week without being called a maneater or a spanish trolip that would be great.
Randomize
