It's really too bad Cosmo doesn't have "What To Do When You've Drunkenly Sucked His Dick and He Doesn't Text You Back" article.
The irony of calling it Pride is that you do things that no one should be proud of.
you figure out which one you wanna sleep with, & I'll sleep with the other one. problem solved
As much as I'm all for laying on his living room couch, watching spongebob and having spoon sex, it's becoming a routine.
I'm voting my liver organ of the month. The award ceremony is next weekend.
will you please stage a drunk girl intervention and tell him that his chain is severely harming his chances of getting laid tonight?
Ripped lines in the bathroom before my presentation.. Got bonus marks for my enthusiasm.. This is why I love drugs
Just call Katie. She's like the drunk whisperer; she can get them to do anything.
We'll I told him I wanted to keep it PG last night, but then later I asked him to take his pants off. So i'm guessing it was my fault.
Just blew a guy who had the same phone case as me. It was destiny.
I just smoked a bowl with the lady who runs the special olympics. Your move.
Good news. His dicks gotten wayy bigger since high school. I love Thanksgiving break.
Hey babe! Random question. Do you by chance have the pic of my nipples covered with ninja turtles band aids? Thanks.
Just to clear things up, yes you did lick the strippers butt
Granted every 20 shifts of working there you seem to be on par to receive some sort of racy satisfying sexual encounter which money can’t buy
Randomize