i have the same doorman on the day shift as the guyi shacked with has on the night shift. he just laughed at me when i came home this AM. FML
I haven't been laid since Bush was president.
When I told my boss I'm using a vacation day for 4/20, he gave me his personal cell phone number and winked at me.
It's "your husband had his mouth on my vagina" awkward.
I'm not liking this ratio of moving to blowjobs...
I found your wallet in my underwear drawer......... Don't worry I don't plan on asking any questions
We still on for coffee?
Cream and sugar. Deliver to planned parenthood in 45.
I hooked up with some guy to get over my ex last night. I was terrified until we started doing naked pushups.
Finally buying a camera. Missed out on recording a 3way last night. Hindsight. Ugh.
Never thought going to McDonald's alone at 3 AM would end with a blowjob outside some random girl's apartment...
you got in a fight with your imaginary friend last night when he didn't catch you after a surprise trust fall
I put on a tiger onsie to initiate sex... It worked
After an orgasm, I always feel the urge to sing A Whole New World from the move Aladdin and I'm not quite sure why.
I feel like your boyfriend deserves to know that you're a lesbian.
Longest 30 seconds of my life
10/10 so not recommended
Randomize
