Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
You wouldn't stop asking the hibachi cook if his knife was a hattori hanzo
You covered in salsa con queso would take care of all of my cravings right now
nyquil sex gave me 6 orgasms so I support that
Not sure if jager bombs can cure tuberculosis, but its a theory im testing as we speak
Yeah I should probably start planning our first conversation instead of our first child.
This is actually a pretty big deal for him. I mean, he contacted a stranger out of concern for someone else instead of for sex.
That does show growth.
One small step for man, one big gay fierce leap for gays!
Really uncomfortable with the level of eskimo brotherhood at this family reunion
Jenna, I'm going to use all my homosexual powers to steal him from you
Austin, I will climb on top of your shoulders and slowly suffocate you with my vagina
Looks better than the half a blow job I got the other night which I had to finish myself. From a chick I refer to simply as "mom jeans".
I found where he bartends and I guarantee you that in approximately nine months from this Friday, you will have a niece
I wouldn't call us friends exactly. Honestly I just hang out with him so I can hit on his girlfriend. They won't last long, and I'll be there to pick up the scraps
Did anyone see us fucking last night on the giant turtle outside downtown Disney?
It's official. I have spent more money on weed than on textbooks this semester.
Randomize
