Hey man sorry I got all grabby
I want to see you every morning in the kitchen ass naykid on roller blades making pancakes.
Stop sending me these texts. This is your mom, not your girlfriend.
the last thing i remember is unlocking the door. its like i was literally opening the door to my blackout
i am YELPING strip clubs. This is interesting.
What's the point of having 3 fuck buddies when their periods all seem to sync up
he sounded really stupid. it was like his puke had a stutter, too.
we're about an hour out, how's the weather?
cloudy with a chance of strippers and cocaine, you're favorite. welcome home.
she got the salsa and pickles out of the fridge looked at me and said what can i make with this
I puked in my fridge last night while I was trying to get water
I'm laying in bed with a case of beer,.. That's how this break up is going..
Ive fucked up. im like a feral dog rabidly chasing an infrequent dream amidst a cataclysm of disaster
This medicine is making me nuts. I just woke up and I thought I was in a glass case with Asians staring at me.
She dated an Australian guy or some dude with an accent. Normal guys don't stand a chance.
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED.
How weird is it that 2 people I've had sex with have the same birthday and they don't even know each other
Just realized that I indirectly pay for sex through my cable bill
Wow. He is an expensive lay
I still have to figure out the cost per lay. It could be a financially sound investment
Randomize