Now it won't go down.
You've got a gift.
i just saw a man pushing two thirtys of beers in a stroller while his little kid ran to keep up. father of the year
I'm like 99% sure I made out with Kevin Spacey last night. Not good.
We raised our shot glasses and you screamed out "TO MY DAD FINALLY GOING TO REHAB!"
I don't care what anyone says I want strippers at my funeral.
I found the bottle of ketchup and sobe you tried to hide in the middle of the lawn last night
Im going to hell in a hand basket. With a ribbon tied to my head. I'll be like a puppy for the devil.
Actually, I take that back. You can only have it if I'm allowed to French braid the mullet.
Do you think if 10 year old us knew that we would be passing out in a McDonalds after a hefty night of drinking, and 23 McChickens, they'd change anything?
Ones vagina should not have the same slogan as a can of Pringles.
He took me out to dinner to tell me we had to stop fucking so randomly
Honestly wish he pleased me as much as queso does
Oh man I missed being single! Two different guys just sent me dick pics during my kid’s little league game.
long story short... we may or may not have lost your car.
it's okay that you two hooked up in the family bathroom at the mall.. i just pray to god you were not making a family in the family bathroom..
Remember how I was complaining about how no guy has ever gotten me off?
Randomize
