I think I'm in Tiajuana
You are not in Tijuana. I saw you an hour ago
I could be
Apparently when he woke up I was tripping my face off. Everytime the cat meowed I would meow back. This went on for several hours.
When we woke up, I asked if we could play "what does your name rhyme with".....he said 'bave' thank god it was easy
just weighed my balls on my pocket scale. that high.
Vodka is such a love hate relationship.
Truer words have never been spoken.
That glade motion activator thing keeps going off every time we pass the bong. I don't know what I'm getting high off right now.
I don't know where Tiffany is but I just saw her shoes in the bar lost and found
Im just saying it can't be that bad if he drove himself to the er. We'll head that way when we finish playing scattergories
I have Denny's hours of operations written on the palm of my hand....not in my writing, in a girls writing, is that as good as or equal to a cell number?
I may have been mad at the Supreme Court/patriarchy and tried to hate fuck myself.
The only monogamous relationship I can keep is with my eyebrow lady...
the only things my left hand does: catch/hold things and masturbation.
Omg in one week, two guys with their own names tattooed on their bodies had their tongues in my mouth. Self loathing shall commence now.
Wanna get drunk and play candy land? If so you are 2 steps behind.
My ex is stopping by while he’s working tonight after delivering a pizza to fuck me, then going back to work at Pizza Hut. This is what my life has become.
Randomize
