just thought you should know that she got home at about 6am.... totally wasted. she was locked out and when i finally came to the door she was on a patio across the street with some random making hotdogs on somebodys elses bbq.
I swear ... this hickey is a map to Amelia Earhart's whereabouts
i will never coherently bang her
This guy just walked into class and first thing he did was grab the garbage can, walk to his desk and say "just in case"
its 9am and we're in an escalade. I have no shoes and my dress is on backwards. I feel like we're the morning after a rap video
obviously he has no clue about college dating. it goes drunken sex then the 1st date
Wasn't a date. In exchange for artichoke dip I received a bj. And sex. It was a transaction.
apparently it isn't appropriate to tell a coworker who is eating celery because it's "negative calories" that a blowjob is too
I think "I actually like giving blow jobs better" qualifies her as a keeper
Fair enough. I'm gonna finish off half a bottle of Brunettes in the shower anf relive the good ol' days. We need a reunion
the scent of your tears make me crave pizza
In this town being related to a brewing family or the owner of a sports team is like being royalty. It's like hooking up with the queen's nephew or something.
As much of a hooker as I am you don't slam where you drink
He just ate a tooth whitening strip...
And you hate the library
Yea but I love drugs and my grades
Randomize
