I'm playing a drinking game with nyc prep. This will not end well for meeee
Everytime the gay dude pretends he's not gay, drink a cosmo. Everytime the crosseyed girl is crosseyed, kill her
look mate, i'm pretty sure 14 texts saying "fuck me. fuck me now" more than passes the legal benchmark for consent.
I was just texting to see if your vagina was working yet.
What do you want me to say to her? "Oh hey, I need to borrow your soon to be husband to make a porn, cool?"
Jessi just used the excuse "it's not you it's me" to get out of getting a lap dance.
and then we had to stop you from trying to pour shots through your nose with the neti pot.
Rolling one last joint on my Psych textbook before trading it in. I might actually cry.
We made out for three hours. Then she said she didn't sleep with redheads and left the party. So yes, I'm still drinking.
I.V.'s should just be available for purchase at Walmart. God I'm dehydrated.
Haha yeah this costume is worse than I imagined. I look more like a gothic hooker who caters specifically to creepy men with doll fetishes
her mom went out of her way to book us a room with separate beds... her level of gay denial is in beast mode
There a special place in hell for drunk criers. A special FUCKING PLACE
You're wearing a hospital gown and pearls. Let's reevaluate your life.
When we got into his bed, his damn parrot started making sex noises in the other room
Woke up with a throbbing vagina and a lesbian in my bed. Then for the hell of it we had morning sex. Definitley bisexual now
Randomize