Is pulling weed out of a vagina a good thing or a bad thing?
they had a keg party to fund her abortion.
We're playing Big Buck Hunter to determine who buys the next pitchers. And they said video games wouldn't help me later in life
I'm guessing "whatever I can get" wasn't the reply the nurse wanted when asking what med I need. Oh, and asked for a cartoon band-aid.
Last night the nurse at the ER told me that she wished all her drunk patients were like me. Then she commented on my socks...
Well you really should've thought of that before you painted your walls the same color as your toilet
i feel like this needs to be a 'lose some teeth' kind of weekend.
You were sitting in the middle of the floor spewing vodka at people proclaiming "I a whale". That drunk.
He was dressed up as Jesus and had vodka in one hand while he was blessing everyone and splashing them with holy water in the bathroom.
She took a six hour road trip with me so I could have revenge sex with my ex's brother. That is the definition of a best friend.
Urgent. Do not ignore. What does this "=$" shit mean. Quality foreign dick is at stake here
I was giving him a blowjob but we had to stop because he started crying when his cat walked in and started staring at us
Are there rules against fucking your ex's dealer?
Remember how I made that resolution to remain celibate for 6 months? Well, I just broke that
You literally made that 4 hours ago...
He may not be good for my soul but he’s great for my vagina!
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