i said send nudes i get bra and panties. thats not what i fucking asked for.
so while we were having sex, he stuck it in my but, and when he finished he goes next time can we have anal. i don't know if that means im tight or my butt hole is loose, i choose to think the first one
hot pretzels for dinner, snacks, and now breakfast...oh to be a poor college student...everyday is like a carnival.
i wanna have a kid now so by the time he's 20 ill only be 42 and assuming im already divorced we can pick up girls together
We tried to get a ride from the same firefigters that were turning off the fire alarm going off at our house.
Get out here. Doing shots with the delivery guy. Also, the food is here
Wow. This hand sanitizer smells awesome. It's like I just gave a handjob to a fruit basket.
So I saw the nuva ring just lying on the counter at Planned Parenthood...did u know it's just a ring? I could go to the Dollar tree buy a plastic bracelet and shove it up there instead.
You do that. Then go have lots of unprotected with your harem of booty calls and see how that works out for you.
I woke up naked wrapped in my roommate's towel with one leg shaved and money thrown all over the room. Happy 21st birthday.
Can we make a pact that if we're 40 and still sluts that aren't married we can get civil unioned the fuck up and raise an asian baby as our own?
Im invoking the "no judgements" clause of our friendship.
My god, what have you done?
Dude, don't put me in a suit and feed me liquor; I'll never go home.
I may have just tried to argue quantum entanglement as the reason I was still in her bed.
I literally JUST MADE IT to the liquor store. I bought a box of wine with the lights off
I woke up remembering only that I got pulled over by a cop, then looked over and found that same cop, naked.
Randomize
