she came over and started getting naked and said its not like i came over to just hang out
youve hit the jackpot
I'm pregaming with America's Best Dance Crew.
Do a shot everytime Lil' Mama mispronounces a word.
How much cunt could a cunt bag punch if a cunt bag could punch cunt?
and she was petting her beer can
It's going to be great. They guy at the store said 3 shots and you won't be able to feel your face or stop smiling.
I'm okay.. I had a good heart to heart with the cab driver Raheem - it's going to be our year.
Okay, we really need to start training for the St Pattys parade. 48 hours of green beer won't end well if we don't prep ourselves. 2 week bender starts now
Hey, no judgement here...this is the girl that threw up on a box of kittens at the magician's house
I seriously told a stripper I would hold her hand when she goes to get ass implants.
Why is everyone else growing up when I'm just crying, eating, and having pregnancy scares?
I'm too socially awkward and sexually frustrated to get through this evening sober.
The Dick I got last night was so phenomenal that I had to take a fucking personal day today.
He was standing in the living room wearing a Donald Trump wig and looking very disappointed
Whenever a guy asks me why I like weird sex stuff, I just answer, "Catholic School".
But actually he solved 40% of my life problems just in one dicking
Randomize
