he called me "his little blueberry cunt muffin"...how would that make you feel?
it was like eating out sand paper
On a scale of one to Chris Brown, how angry are you?
I love how all these freshman girls think that they can wear what they wore last summer... freshman 15 at its skankiest
I feel like I would bang a guy with a dick piercing just to say I have...like climbing a huge mountain or somethig
You were doing karaoke. Then you screamed "SHOUTOUT TO ADAM LAMBERT" and started making out with the very surprised looking guy next to you.
He says I tipped the waitress ten dollars because she "smelled like pigs in a blanket."
It came up in court that I told the arresting officer my name was Thomas Jefferson, and I was born in 1776. I almost kept a straight face. Almost.
It must have been an amazing night, I have "my pants are responsible people" written on my pants in permanent marker.
So I know we're not talking about this anymore buuuuuut I left heel marks on the wall.
omg this is getting ridiculous. nobody's vagina should ever be this neglected.
Trying not to look at her chest is like trying to not hear a fire engine racing by.
you guys have a strange definition of the word fun. I would have said dangerous, terrifying, or life-threatening. of course, bowling can now be described the same way.
I am all the way hung over and want nothing more in this world than a McMuffin. Happy day after Thanksgiving.
I wasn't talking about him I meant his penis! Its not a pet
Oh. Well it should be. I like petting it.
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