I had a dream last night where you were a transsexual in a low cut blue dress with lovely long brown hair. You were very pretty. I hope you are well.
Fiestas. Its like a classier verson of mardi gras.
An ad on my facebook says "don't be THAT girl". Its like it knows.
He told me he could read braille... with his tongue. So I took him home. I don't think he was lying
I had a new years resolution not to be a whore anymore, but I think I'm gonna wait till 2011
Went biking. Saw homeless guy beating in the park. Thought of you <3
I cant leave dude. theres a horse with a top hat on
he's from indiana, of course he's clueless about "g-spots"
the spit in my mouth is still 99% not mine.
I kept reassuring him that I was easy like Sunday morning, not easy like "I've had 6 shots of tequila and haven't had sex in three months"
Why do you have to go to the hospital?
I gotta apologize to a male nurse who's tryin to press assault charges on me
Next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
He was super adorable, like I wanna pinch his cheeks while I fuck him...
All you need is a handful of lube and an open mind
Do you remember telling the Uber driver that "his cologne makes you want to bone"?
Randomize