i guess. but if i can salvage this and still somehow see you naked i feel like that's a win
He spent the whole night convincing me I wasn't fat, but after we had sex he said "Oh, I see what you mean"
Totally just grabbed the wrong dick. Damn this tequila.
is it sad that i can describe this night as "the night that i was sober" and we all know which night it was. like literally one night of sobriety.
Are you really this nice or are you just trying to get in my pants?
Both?
There was a canoe full of alcohol. It was literally a boat load of fun
By the way, thank you for feeding me fries when I was sitting on the floor.
It's official. 2011 is the year of sport fucking
There are rocks in my bed. And dirt all over my face. Explain?
Well pulled into the driveway, and there she was. Kinda like a Vegas version of the mint on a pillow
I got my first tattoo & injured myself while having sex in a national monument. I say we consider this weekend siezed.
Everytime I get drunk I wake up hugging the bag of bagels from three months ago
I just quoted part of the Pokemon theme song in a sext... And it worked
I honestly just wanna put my face in her tits and disappear from this plane of existence
I kinda realized titty fucking is purely for our enjoyment, they dont really get much out of it, except for a guy sitting on them and and a dick bouncing of their chin
Randomize
