Okay, I have a threesome with foreigners and suddenly I'm a man-whore
i felt like the dude nobody likes from the mikes hard lemonade commercial
So you know how craigslist used to have an "erotica" section? And how after you click on a link it changes a darker color? And how Dad stays up really late most nights?
Oh god... well at least he's gettin some. Mom's a prude.
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
I mean he's a cool ass guy, but he's genuinely in love with a fat chick. I just can't take him seriously as a person.
He kept trying to order 'sex on the tennis courts' for a drink last night
I was just wished a Happy Valentine's Day by the (Mexican) Chinese food delivery guy. I've never had clearer "get your life together" message than that.
Your expertise in crazy bitches is needed.
Oh god, so much rum. I think I was in a shotgun wedding with a Bacardi promotion girl.
he got kicked out of the bar for falling asleep on the mechanical bull.. then freaked on us cause we wouldnt go to the strip club with him
SHE GRABBED MY FULLY ERECT DICK IN A BAR AND STUCK HER TONGUE DOWN MY THROAT AND I COULD NOT CLOSE
first thing my tuition money buys is a strap on
You could woo kevin with a boquet of breakfast burritos. He loves those burritos. You could use the hot sauce packets like babies breathe
I get so many dick pics from him...He has an unhealthy obsession with his own penis...
I woke up this morning and had to retrieve my clothes from the flagpole, they were using my boxers as a makeshift rally flag for drinking. Yeah last night was a success.
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