Come to the Burger King. We're waiting for you.
we had sex three times last night.. but now im just wet from him crying on my stomach about how much he misses his ex.. awesome
He's really hot. I think he's gonna be my reason to shave this winter.
Theres a fat guy wearing a speedo. Someone just got puked on, and didnt even react. Whats happening?
Well we didn't hook up. Maybe from his girlfriend's point of view, but not mine.
i'm sad. The beetle crawled away. I was only trying to get him stoned.
we found him. outside on the balcony, sitting on a bucket, with his pants off, swearing he was'nt taking a dump
My girlfriend is studying for the MCAT by watching The Magic Schoolbus. There go my dreams of being a househusband.
We'll talk about this tommorrow when I'm not mistaking my fingers for French fries....
I'm gonna take my bong and hot box the pirate ship in the daycare playground.
They're tearing apart the house I lost my virginity in:(
I got kicked out of the hotel after wandering into the banquet kitchen at 2am trying to find the shrimp....so we're power napping in the car and then driving to madison.
I've discovered my ability to crush a man's ego is greater than my hate for beer.
I just made my mom buy me lube. I've reached a new level of broke.
i told you i was taking the Metra Train, and you asked what type of drug that was.. so yes i believe you when you say you were fucked up
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