That guy youre talking to looks like Brian from Family Guy.
Chris' response to jim throwing up was taking off his shirt and saying WHO WANTS A BONER
He had one of those small greek statue penises
Just found out that I was singing john legend songs as I threw up last night. Quality.
Considering he believes im part of the 2016 us curling team id say hes pretty drunk
She jerked me off while she drove us back from Denver going 70mph. It was both the scariest and most erotic moment of my life.
Today the house voted to defund Planned Parenthood but to continue funding NASCAR. I fucking hate everything.
Well, at least he doesn't refer to you as his associate. his mattress associate
Hey. Hey you. Just wanted to let you know that I'm adorable. FUCKING ADORABLE. That is all. This update brought to you by our proud sponsor bud light.
He made me keep his swollen nut cold with frozen bags of peas while rubbing his tummy because he said I had no choice.
If you could get me there thatd be perfect. I doubt there's extradition on the moon.
On a scale from 1 to 10 how gross is it to get a chili dog from a vending machine?
The cop asked me why my pants were around my knees when he woke me from the sink, i replied "Officer, my underwear is still on, nothing bad happened" then he nodded in acknowledgement and we carried on with the paper work.
Well, he pretended he was climbing me like he was a monkey and I was a tree during sex.
Dude we were sitting at my place stoned as fuk then someone knocks on the door and it was my neighbor giving me a huge box of cookie dough. Magic of weed.
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