So im pretty sure the object of my emotional onterest is tired of playing with me....
I just sneezed everywhere.....everywhere. Now no one will talk to me.
In case you were wondering, you weren't dreaming. I really did get stuck between my bed and the wall last night.
Just had to have the guy at Sprint clear the dried cum out of the trackball on my Blackberry. Wonder if that happens to him often.
I'd love to come and give you a massage, but we already duck taped my keys to the ceiling...
Medicore although I woke up with the business card of a Turkish lawyer called Mufasa...
He must be back home now. He moved his box of beer from her porch to ours.
Post-shopping-cart-scooter-jousting victory fuck?
They have a booking log online so i can just check that instead of call
Technology: making bailing your sister out easier since 2008
I'm currently braless eating the balls of the penis cake and drinking warm champagne. I'm 3 cats away from crazy at this point
Its okay that he doesn't remember you, he only remembers girls by their boobs and I think you were wearing a jacket
Life is my bitch right now. The bouncers tried to carry me out of the club, but everyone thought I was crowd surfing so everyone carried me BACK IN. Winning as fuck.
Gotta get new sheets. ..I fucked the satin off mine.
They wouldn't let me on the bull because I couldn't even sign my own name... She let me try 3 times...
So I fucked a guy with his mouth wired shut last night never thought id cross that off my imaginary bucket list
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