so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
Who was more unwelcome: The two of us at the party last night, or Kimmy Gibler at the Tanner residence?
Listen, i'm watching playoff hockey and eating waffles. i just don't have time for your drama today.
You pulled the fire alarm because you had to shit and there was someone in the bathroom. you said you needed privacy
She just said she wanted to get freaky and left the room. I'm almost certain I just heard the microwave.
Housing is going to charge us for any broken dishes/glassware. Steal as many glasses as you can from the bars tonight. I got the baking dish and 3 plates covered.
My fuck buddy took time out of his date with his girlfriend to text me happy Valentines Day.
Just had sex with your cousin. That's what you get for throwing away a perfectly good microwave. Hopefully you learned from this experience.
It's official. Hawaii is 100% better when you're stoned.
A BJ like that needs to be recommended.
She called it a palate cleanser. She and her friend dike it out once a year before returning to dick
Together or do they pick up? How far do they go? IS AN AUDIENCE PERMITTED? GODAMIT ANSWERS MAN!!!!!!
Getting drunk at 9 am is not a super power.
They were so sore! Either I have bed bugs or you were biting my nipples last night and don't lie to me.
The Domino's delivery guy is in front of me at The Wendy's drive-through. Hmmm.....
I'm having to shit out rocks
Randomize
