Kelly went into her room with Dave, but is moaning Tommy...
I would make tea from her tampons just to see her tits
Just so you know, I have a bf.
I guess as long as you bring single girls over and cook cannolis you will still be useful.
grad school is all the worst parts of undergrad, without the binge drinking and bad decisions to make up for it
i dont have any money that hasnt already been designated for cigarettes and birth control
Well it went from being a hug to a straight out tackle through the back door.
I know this request is pointless but you two please try to keep the drinking and drug use to a minimal, I have bail money so write my number on your arm and a "if found call", wear a life jacket and act like a responsible 28 year old please.
I'm lying here drinking water from a shot glass..moving is not an option right now
I went to pick my brother up downtown and I stopped at a red light a homeless old man comes up knocks on the window shows me his penis and then screams money
Turn on the Discovery Channel
Lets fuck to motorcycle gang fighting
I'm drunk, laying in bed, eating macaroni salad. I dropped a piece and tried to pick it up with a fork. My cleavage is bleeding and I haven't been laid yet. Heeeyyyy!!!
we all thought you were asleep. he found you an hour later sitting outside in the snow lighting a bowl, singing the CatDog theme song, and hugging a box a Franzia.
How does one tell their boyfriend they're pregnant with someone else's kid??
She shaved her vagina in my bed. Good night
Let's not forget that we had sex on the ground in public tonight.
Randomize
