no. i seriously look so gross with this sunburn. i wouldnt even wanna bang myself. and im really into myself.
Ever got a vibrator stuck in ur hair? Is worse that getting ur hairbrush stuck.
...well that sucks.
her underwear stopped being sexy when i saw her pubes sticking out of the top.
she met some random, took his vcard, peed in his bed, left, and then requested him as her boyfriend on facebook
did she really put a helmet on, try to make a hole in the wall then pass out on the floor ten minutes later? if thats true ill be there in 15
He just asked me if I'd be interested in couples therapy. Fuck my life.
Are you still crying. What are you doing. Have 10 shots of tequila.
That's why we don't trade sex for Taco Bell. It's called the dollar menu.
I tried snowmobiling at 2 am. I broke my glasses. You're right. Things do get out of control.
I'm currently in h&m wondering "what exactly is the class level of a swingers resort?"
Pro tip: If you tell him that his dick looks like a muppet then you won't have to see him again.
dude igloo, 4 foot bong, and 3 grams of blue dream. will you be my eskimo buddy?
Did a 4 pm walk of GLORY the next day.
We are bad people. This is why we are friends. <3
Need to use your shower bro.
FWB wearing glitter again?
It’s like she’s marking her territory
Randomize
