I haven't seen Daniella all day...are you sure she was safe going home with that guy?
oh don't worry! i asked him if he was a rapist. he said no
dude im shwasted, kabul is not the best place for this
I'm actually pretty neutral about a lot of things. I'm like Switzerland with a penis.
Shes in the fridge organizing my beer collection. I love having a girlfriend with OCD
I ended up driving home on my birthday, he opened the door to puke on the highway, and animal balloons were flying out of the car the entire time. The people behind us got a show.
I was an emotional waste case that night. She made me stroke her ponytail.
My bullwhip has saved my life tonight and gotten me laid. I'm gonna be Indiana Jones every Halloween!
I'm okay. We got a prayer rug sent to us with the face of jesus on it. From Tulsa Oklahoma. Kinda weird.
So hungover. Have a black eye from where I tried to brush my teeth and stabbed myself in the eye instead. Should make the performance review I was stress drinking about go so much better.
I spy something regrettable...
Oh my god. Stop!! It was one time and I still can't believe it.
He told me we shouldn't hang out because it would be weird and then snap chatted me a picture of his dick
Can we go to the gas station to get cigarettes before we get drunk. It's hard enough to say Marlboro sober.
Which one of you fucks put a bounty out on my brother's virginity?
I mean seriously with your cock and my tits combined we could rule the world. Pinky and the brain style
Thanks for making me a drunk burrito last night and cutting it into bite size pieces, I always knew you were a keeper.
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