i was shrooming and she was sobbing. i was trying to be sympathetic, but i could see the veins working like worms under her skin. and then her face stripped down to the muscle.
what was she crying about?
i wanna say it was the lack of skin on her face but maybe she lost her job.
BROstal carolina. Watching a boy drinking rum and coke out of a cup of noodle empty cup.
I kind of feel like guidos are mythical creatures.
You'll be proud of me
Who did you not have sex with
Damn it...you know me too well
My mom and I were trying to explain to my sister what an uncircumcised penis looks like. We had some minor disagreements.
I already apologized. And I got cum in my eye in return, I say your night beats mine...
i was able to set 4 alarms to make sure i woke up in time for class but i couldnt take the open beer out of my pocket before i did cartwheels down the hall...
We're drinking vodka. Wine is for people who have to wake up in the morning.
he attacked my vagina with the force of a thousand suns
I have got to stop taking so many uppers and downers simultaneously. My life is a Dali painting.
The next time you fuck up, your grandma sees your dick pics
Going to the ER, I'll explain later but apparently drunk me isn't allergic to peanut butter.
I still can't believe I was army crawling thru his backyard at 2am..
I'M GOING TO DIE ALONE WITHOUT ANYONE PRETENDING TO BE A MARRIED COUPLE WHILE DRUNK AT A MALL WITH ME
Grandma keeps pulling a bottle of captain from her pocket and spiking people's drinks.. She just yelled "I'm DAMN HOT to be a grandma!" .. I LOVE HER.
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