I wish I had more reasons to start sentences with the phrase, "Here's the thing you've got to remember about cougars ...
If you can't do the LSAT hung over. You can't do the LSAT. That's the real practice.
Explain to me how "cheap asian titties" is a complement?
Standing in front of the open refrigerator with a 3/4 empty bottle of wine eating Bac-o's from the jar, topless. Somebody really should've taught me better coping skills.
nothing like a cross blunt to celebrate the birth of our savior
perfect irony that i'm celebrating international women's day with a yeast infection
Is it wrong I want to seduce my ex to prove the point to his current gf he's an ass?
I'd feel bad about being drunk at the Christmas service, except for the fact that I've already had sex in this church, so this is just small change.
If it makes you feel any better, I'm eating a block of cheese...
I kept having to give myself encouraging advice like, "you know how a path works"
I told him we could fuck whenever was concurrent for both of us
It was like 10 tiny penises being shoved in my vagina.
At least they play good movies in the waiting room of the pregnancy resource center.
He told me he loved me...but added "you crazy bitch" at the end. Does it still count???
We will discuss everything tomorrow i presume. Including the sweaty naked tango.
Randomize