Def slept AT the bar last night, wow that's a first!
Exactly how low is masturbating to your cute professor's lecture videos?
I ended up in a shower with 9 people and a bunch of unopened beer last night. I think I got peed on. Hands were everywhere. We sold the peed on beer to people knocking on the hotel room door.
Wow, now I'm sad I didn't go.
It was cool in an 'oh shit I'm gonna get arrested' way.
He just lit his joint with the tiki torches around his pool. He is definitely coming to my future parties
No it's cool, He's been doing my English papers in exchange for lap dances since the eleventh grade. We're very professional.
she brought my homemade cookies with condoms taped to the box... im in love
If it looks really sketchy and smells like burnt pizza and pot you're in the right place
I'm going to buy her a puppy, let her fall in love with it, then kill it in front of her. Does that answer how I feel about her?
I just had nipple jewelry returned to me in the law library.
you said you would race him to taco bell but you slipped in the parking lot and just laid there, crying
I'm recreating the you're a wizard harry video with a guy on snapchat whilst having snapchat sex with another... Adulting is fun
So I thought you might like to hear how I went to sams club to print some pictures and suddenly there was 20 pictures of your dick and my snatch on the screen
Never underestimate the power of titties
My vagina! What have you done to it?
Blessed it my child.
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