We should takd a huggy cab to snuggle bunnyville
Nothing gets me like the O.C. theme song does.
i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i still was a whore
ii just google-imaged 'sad turtle' and maggie gyllenhaal only came up once. what is the world coming to?
It's always a surprise to see what songs I shazamed and downloaded last night while we were drunk at the bar.
They asked if I was about to puke and my response was to laugh and suddenly throw up. Continuing my asshole streak I kept laughing while still vomiting.
So not only did you shoot down my invitation and prob walked past my house but now ur excluding me from a wet t shirt contest which btw i totally would have won
Just to be clear, the only reason you're allowed to scream "COCKTAIL SERVANT" at bartenders is because you have nice tits
I punted my pants across my apt at my roommate last night. Everything else is kinda fuzzy.
I was like can I please fuck your hips back into realignment
So glad the long weekend is over so I can bring this bender to a merciful end.
THIS IS WHY I WENT TO SCHOOL FOR TO BE A COSMETOLOGIST TO HELP MY EX BOYFRIENDS CURRENT GIRLFRIEND BE MILDLY ATTRACTIVE... Everything DOES happen for a reason
We'll get you some ice cream, but no sprinkles. Sprinkles are for winners.
That awkward moment when you are on your way to ICU and the only sympathy gift you can think of is beer and whiskey
For someone who wanted a break I'm getting way to much dick
Randomize
