I shaved my pubes to make my cock look like it has a lions mane. to surprise the girl that works at the zoo when she comes over.
plan parent hood is for high school, im at the abortion clinic, so college.
i woke up next to the toilet with a chipped tooth, somebody elses shirt on, and a random guys id in my pocket
So there I was.....spitting on my goldfish just to keep it alive.
Is there a reason why the cops knew her name as they were chasing her?
I think I dropped my cock ring in your back yard
He took shrooms and didn't want anyone to touch him. He kept saying he was a chip and he didn't want to break.
It's like all my brain cells are screaming at me.
I'm dying.
Thats like me asking what you think of antisocial polish guys with mysterious rashes
Note to self: don't try to shave your legs when sex-sore. You CANT reach, stop trying.
I was gonna drive but when i tried to use telekinesis to get my keys, I knew I shouldn't be driving
I would go a lot of places to get laid. But I would NOT go to Staten Island.
Yeah plus that night got so disgusting it's basically a repressed memory anyway
It's sad that I'm more proud of my Twitter account then my resume
you know you're drunk when you start breaking down your body composition into organic molecules
Randomize
