It took him longer to undo my bra than he lasted..
i wanted to iron the shorts i'm wearing. but i'm high and lazy. so i'm using my hair straightener. in bed.
so thats when we found her crawling hands and knees up first street singing hold me closer tony danza as loud as she could
did she say where she was going
apparently she thought she was on morton hill and was trying to go back to the bars
I've blown him so many times I feel like I have a better relationship with his dick than I do with him.
Jerry just sent me this: IOR GHIT ALL THE BUTTIB. Go get him. Now.
the night got glorious when you tried to do an upside down keg stand with a near empty key and dropped it on your face
We went to IKEA super baked wearing fake mustaches. You?
hot boxing the bathroom at chili's. where the fuck are you, it's too big of a box for just one person.
My vagina feels like it's been kissed by angels.
Our DD will meet us there. The strippers are sending a limo to pick him up. He promised them New Years Eve massages. Said he would still drive us home.
I woke up to Elf. I don't know which one of you put that in my DVD player when I passed out but I appreciate you.
I just accidentally deep throated a popsicle in front of my parents
I literally just ordered a gold medal online that is engraved with his name, "01.01.16", and "BEST SEX EVER"
I just bought a mini nerf gun so he could make a bowl out of it, I deserve the fuck buddy of the year award!
All I want right now is a waffle and some fried chicken and a penis.
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