As far as classy things to do in front of your ex go, throwing up on your own shirt is not one of them.
she gave me a disgusted look and asked how i could live with myself. because i havent seen the rocky horror picture show. and then dumped me.
We aren't going to mix hockey and sex texts tonight.
I totally agree. all sexting is on hold till after the games over.
Playoffs. This shit is serious.
she sucked my dick to get the taste of the last guy's out. I need to find a new friend with benefits.
She refered to her bed as the "cockpit"....I understand that this morning.
we kept pushing you at the prospective students saying go for it, itll make them want to come here
you kept yelling THIS ONES FOR THE ADMISSIONS OFFICE and then youd go in for the kill
Judging by the garbled spelling in the calendar reminders in my phone, drunk me really wanted sober me to take a pregnancy test today.
Woke up in a pile of people on the floor. His dad was already up and ask me to help him cook bacon because "7 lbs can be a mother fucker"
I either need to get adopted or have someone's baby, but I'm joining that family
Nothing like snapchatring dick pics to a\nMarried woman while your girlfriend destroys Taco Bell in the next room. Almost caught, worth it. Got boobs back
He said I took his samurai sword off his wall and proceeded to jump off his porch at people coming home from the bar.
We met some guy at the beach, and dug a hole with him. He invited us to "come back at night and smoke a blunt in this hole"
Just shaved my crotch so I could call it the bald eagle. Happy 4th.
almost just sent your mom a dick pic. almost.
of fours songebofy did dknt stop believing
how legible are my texts
she just kept pointing at the cows and calling them field penguins
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