My Higher Power is John Stamos
I just googled dawgpound, shoulda seen that pornsite coming
just a heads up, there may or may not be a mailbox full of the leftover beer on the table in your basement.
Hmmm just stalked him and according to his facebook he wants "whatever he can get." obviously he'd be open to the idea.
Why are you seriouly talking to me about this when there naked pics of blake lively on the internet? Priorities man...
we are sitting in a kindergarden classroom alone chugging beer. look at our lives. look at our choices.
Just received a visit from the Ghost of Bad Decisions Past. Kind of weird 90% of the flashbacks happened in the same sixteen month span, the rest happened at Taco Bell.
Now the circle is complete. Just interviewed a guy who was a higher up member of the team I worked for in my job before this place
Booty calls should never involve the cops.
I hooked up with a blind guy last night... he's clapping in order to find his way around our apartment
I'm wearing a fleece onesie eating pop tarts on the train to work. Killing it.
My favorite bra is missing and I smell like beer and bad decisions. This is definitely a sign that hoe mode is activated.
when the cops came she just started yelling at them "Fuck the police! freedom of speech bitches!"
Funniest thing happened to Chloe! She talked the bf into a mmf threesome, and he loudly and enthusiastically discovered he was gay during it. Whole dorm literally heard it happen.Well funny for me. Chloe not so much.
Not to be hella graphic on main but I just came so hard I think I saw a new color.
Randomize
