"Morning after" poops are always like, interesting.
i just googled 'classy porn'. high, low, i dunno i just got bored of cum shots.
and pubic hair rears its ugly head again
my bed looks and feels like i need to buy plan b.
I just farted for five sidewalk sections! New personal best.
I had a dream once that juice was flowing out of my kitchen faucet
To make up for the snow days we missed he's making us write a paper on alcoholism. It's like he knows.
There's limited edition cherry vanilla nyquil. It's like they know how much I hate myself and they're giving me a consolation prize.
your stepbrother is rimming his martinis with coke... keeps saying "thank god its tuesday". where does funemployment end and intervention begin?
Last time we were that stoned we made a "everything you can fit in the blender" shake. Didn't end well..
is pulling out brownies in the middle of class on 4/20 just too obvious?
I'M WORRY THAT MY VAGINA WILL NEVER KNOW THE TOUCH OF A MAN AND YOU ARE MAKING A MIXTAPE
Halloween: the only night of the year wheee the more high I get, the more it compliments my makeup and outfit.
I'm not saying I'm planning to hook up tomorrow but I'm also not saying I'm unprepared for it
youll appreciate my drinking habit one day...
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