guys are only as good as the porn they watch
hows the new call of duty?
I only had sex with the game case so far, but that part was awesome.
So I've only had a mustache for about 5 minutes and I'm already pretty sure it's the best decision I've ever made.
I passed out in the VIP room and she charged me for 17 songs until I woke up, theres a bouncer asking me for $700, fuck tequila
I feel like the only solution to this is to get naked and lay in the shower for a hour then see what my penis wants to do.
I just watched a guy pee from a second floor window onto the line of 100 people waiting to get in.
I'm fucking an ugly guy. Don't come home.
well now I have to
So puking trix and chicken wings is horrible but atleast we got free drinks for taking the trash out at the bar we are really movin up in the world
The paramedics came back to shotgun beers with us.
Who showers for four hours?!
It was like a tropical nap.
Never have i felt more judged than when i was throwing up in front of a hello kitty shower curtain at 5 in the morn
steve's beating me 4-2 in our "sexually confusing straight people" competition. steve is a wizard. this is not a drill.
She showed up after 3 hours and proceded to make us all feel like resonable human beings. I dont know how she did it but she did it.
Phone keeps correcting good morning to "food moaning" and I like the way it thinks.
Parade of Dicks...that's what I'm calling 2017
Randomize
