So when does "going out for one drink" = giving some guy an HJ on the sidewalk?!?
You know its going to be a good homecoming when you beer bong a mimosa at 6am.
I'm always impressed by your drunken ability to quickly gauge how long it's been since you've shaved and whether or not your prospective hook up will care.
Thats why you always identify the subtext of a blowjob before you accept it.
Well, she's officially disappointed in me. I have it writing.
apparently we spent 30 minutes inside that big Nike store turning all of their Duke gear inside out. for some reason the employees didn't stop us.
Cause I came home. Im covered in green marker and jack daniels. Theres a taco and the words "we went to Mexico" on my wrist. Im a walking abomination.
am i so blindsided by his great personality that i'm hooking up with an ugly guy?
i thought you knew
I woke up naked wrapped in my roommate's towel with one leg shaved and money thrown all over the room. Happy 21st birthday.
Nothing like pulling a bottle of vodka out of your purse at 7am in the security line to make your fellow passengers uncomfortable...
I last recall trying to play piano and asking justin for drugs. I would like to think I then gracefully laid down on the couch and shut my eyes like a sleeping kitten.
I re-seduced my fuck buddy...must be the luck of the Irish!
Not all of us can be into hot dads. Some of us have to have commitment issues and be into musicians.
He named his newborn baby after a character in the Hobbit and that is literally keeping me up at night.
did anyone ever come to your door asking about the blood on the floor?
Randomize
