She acts like you when your on meds
She acts like batman?
A moment of silence for all our pussy whips bro's who had to endure the NEW MOON premier!
this isnt the person you just texted but i have her phone. she disappeared when the bacon came home and she hasn't returned since.
Charging the asians next door to us $5 a page to print their final papers because theirs broke. Bars close in 2 hours, lets go
Yeah I hope so. Definately just saw two freshmen in very authentic togas and cotton ball beards. This new class is stepping it up.
He said "ride me pocahontas" while I was on top of him last night
All I'm saying is that whoever owned the wheelchair clearly didn't need it or they wouldn't have been able to leave it there
I'll try not to. I have an appointment at the hospital tomorrow so my goal is to wake up there.
I refuse to go to this wedding alone, or sober. Practice drunk-walking in heels and a Bridesmaid dress begins tonight.
He took shrooms and didn't want anyone to touch him. He kept saying he was a chip and he didn't want to break.
Hahah fuuuck, bag pipers played around me while I threw up. Literally
I swear to God, if you have sex in my bed one more time you're gonna start paying rent
Well I'm over here squandering a fabulous hair day and radiant complexion
And don't worry, I have a great track record of rallying after a casual midday blackout.
It doesn't matter how nice the shirt you wore to the bar was, you still shouldn't have worn it to a job interview
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