he was humming party in the usa while we were having sex.
you were watching a documentary about sharks and wouldn't stop stroking my legs and whispering "what if they could walk?"
Harry Potter. Singing. Sobering up. In that order.
I am nonfunctional stoned. I had to ask ben to put me somewhere away from all the people I'm sitting on someones bed watching a wall. Not alright. Should not have come.
I just hit the bong during the whole bday song then blew the candles out with my exhale.
dude I just got a noise complaint from my apartment people for loud sexual activities. I'm framing this for sure
Sad Megan is Sad
Have you been drinking my beer?
You said that we all need to "head out like a boner through sweatpants and get fucked." Jager night was a success.
Dude I'm riding a fucking tortoise this is awesome you should come with me more often
She's calming us down by shoving oreos in our mouths
I took a cab from the club to the grocery store. I needed peanut butter.
so I may or may not have had intense sex to mozart's greatest hits on vinyl... I don't know if I should be proud or just really disappointed in my nerdness
I just imagined myself as R2-D2 and you as C3P0 walking around the Vegas desert looking for alcohol
If only I could bank my drunk hookups for a sober IOU.
Also we're getting drunk and sledding down Caroline street. See you soon.
Randomize
